Hey there, friends! Welcome back to The Gothic Heart, where today we're diving into a question that's been on my mind a lot lately: Do you like who you are? This topic has been circling around me recently, especially with my kids starting to face their own challenges with self-esteem. So let's talk about what it means to be true to yourself in a world full of opinions, stereotypes, and snap judgments. Buckle up, it's going to be a deep and personal ride.
Realizing Self-Acceptance
So here's a little story that really shaped my outlook on self-acceptance. I was about 28 when I realized I was done with trying to fit into other people's expectations. I had been through my share of failed relationships, and after one particularly rough breakup, some close friends sat me down and gave me a lot of feedback about how I came across to others. It was a lot to take in—overthinker that I am, I went over every word again and again, wondering if I needed to change who I was to be more acceptable.
But here's the thing—I realized I actually like who I am! I love my unique style, my interests, my passion for Halloween and the darker side of life. Why should I change just to fit someone else's idea of what's "normal"? That was a turning point for me, and it led me back to my now-husband, who always loved me for who I was.
The Impact of External Voices
It's amazing how much influence other people's voices can have on us. Even when it's coming from a place of love, it can still mess with your head. My daughter is only nine, and she's already dealing with peer pressure, popularity contests, and that inner critical voice that tells her she's not good enough. I can't believe it's starting so young! But I've been there, and I know how destructive those voices can be.
In my case, people I trusted had their own ideas about how I should act, dress, or live my life. But if their opinions aren't lining up with who you really are, why listen? There's a fine line between constructive advice and destructive criticism, and it's crucial to know the difference.
Finding Non-Negotiables and Setting Boundaries
Part of the journey to self-acceptance is figuring out your non-negotiables. For me, it's my dogs, my music, and my style. These are things I'm not willing to change just to make someone else comfortable. I had to learn to set boundaries and stand firm, even if it meant ending relationships or losing friends.
It's like when I was dating a guy who had this thing about "red flags" and "yellow flags." He labeled my dogs and my music as yellow flags—caution signs. But that was just his perception, not mine. I wasn't going to change my whole life to make him happy. If someone can't accept who you are, then they're not the right person for you. Simple as that.
Self-Reflection and Personal Growth
In the end, it's all about knowing who you are and being okay with it. You have to ask yourself, "Do I like who I am?" If the answer is yes, then you're doing great! If it's yes, but..., then you've got some work to do, but that's okay too. Personal growth is all about finding those areas where you can improve and becoming the best version of yourself.
If the answer is no, then maybe it's time to take a deeper look. It could be because you're hiding parts of yourself or not being true to who you really are. But that's the beauty of self-reflection—you can always change, grow, and become the person you want to be.
So that's the heart of this episode. If you enjoyed it, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Share your stories, your struggles, and your victories. And remember, you are unique and valuable just the way you are. Thanks for hanging out with me today, and stay true to yourself! ✨